A sense of place

There's a bit of a surprise lurking at the bottom of the council's local area map, in the form of a link to a free MP3 audio walking tour of Port Melbourne. It's a well produced narrative, in the style used at many historical tourist attractions, which runs for 48 minutes. It makes for a mildly interesting way to while away an hour and you learn, if nothing else, how bad the place used to smell and how Liardet is pronounced. However there is one segment on the brownout strangler which seems out of place, since none of those crimes occured here.

The web-site mentioned during the tour is now defunct, and there no longer appears to be a tour map available for download, so above is the route followed. It's a (just under) two mile circuit starting and finishing at Station Pier, and it's not really necessary to pause at the exact points suggested, you can just continue wandering leisurely along the route. Thankfully, despite being a few years old, the sights on the tour are all still standing with the exception of the Faram Brothers hardware store.

Bay and Bridge

The former Chequers Inn seems to have settled into its new, more polished, persona since its make-over a year ago.

Taking its new name from the road crossing that it has overlooked since 1861, the Bay & Bridge has tried to distance itself from its former colourful reputation, without alienating its regular customers ... often a tricky task. However despite the swish web-site and fresh interior, there's no hiding the fact that this remains a gambler's den at heart, with sports on all four walls and now a pokie license application underway.
Much like the Clare Castle, the bistro to the side attempts to entice other types of leisure spender with a slightly more refined environment, but unlike the Clare, this is in the heart of Bay Street, so there's a lot more competition. As big Tony Leonard from 3AW concluded, it's hard to see a compelling reason for non TAB punters to walk away from nearby boozers like The Rose or the Prince Alfred (the Bay & Bridge shared the lowest score for last year in the station's Pub of the Week segment ... but then they didn't review The Rex).

Beers on tap: Carlton Draught, Pure Blonde, Asahi, Cascade Light
Parma: $23 ($16 at lunch and on Wednesdays)
Gastro: No
Tradie vs Yuppy: Don't be fooled by the makeover this is still very much a working-class pub

Tiny slice of Manchester

Arriving fashionably late to review a darling of the Melbourne cafe press, here finally we have the Salford Lads Club. It has the warehouse chic, the Google provoking name, the random push bikes and the slightly aloof staff you'd expect from urban coffee junkees ... and it's in Port Melbourne! Well sort of.

It could now be argued that Bridge Street is the place to be for hip cafes, as technically "the club" shares it with both My Sister Says and Balderdash, however tucked as it is behind Bunnings, it's off the map and at least a (brisk) fifteen minute walk away from pretty much anything.

It likely wouldn't still be there if it didn't deliver a top notch espresso, but it's the food that really sets it apart. Although there is a small display cabinet for pides and the like, as its placement in both Cheap Eats and the Good Food Guide atests, the daily lunch specials are where it's at, with interesting restaurant quality dishes at pretty much cafe prices. It's well worth both the trip and inevitable initial akwardness as you first get accustomed to the set up.

Oh and for the record, the Queen is not dead and the original lad's club is approaching its hundredth birthday, and still going strong...

The one oh nine

The Australian Open may be on, and the Rugby World Cup long gone, but Tag Heuer have paid for their moody makeover of a 109 tram and evidently intend to get their money's worth. However with trams on this route reportedly running every 8 minutes during the day, there's not brilliant odds of seeing this particular car at Beacon Cove (especially if the driver decides to quietly jettison his passengers at Montague Street as seems increasingly common these days!).

Yarra Trams claim to be running an extra hundred weekend trams to the beach this summer (across five routes). With a new timetable taking effect today, I thought it high time for some more spurious graphs...

Bandit town?

The Port Phillip Leader describes him as a Gun Toting Bandit. Helping lend credence to Port Melbourne's poor rating for crime in the recent suburb rankings, a man, looking a bit like this, this afternoon held up one of the Bay Street pharmacies.

It is perhaps worth noting that in the official description he has shoulder length hair, a fact which seems to have been left off the photo-fit.

Graphical guide

Avid readers of the Port Philip Weekly free paper may have noticed a familiar story recently about the near useless 'Civic Guides' that dot the suburb. In fairness there is actually a much more useful guide map provided by the council at the tram terminus. Unfortunately for a casual visitor, it covers an excessively large area, was produced before the advent of the bike share scheme, and has a walking time to South Melbourne of 35 minutes from there ... which must've been tested by the resident speed walker.

It would be great if maps like these appeared at the Civic Guide sites. Although I suspect that for most lost souls on Bay Street all they really want to know is a) which side streets have shops and cafes on them, and b) which way is it to the nearest tram stop? So here, in an attempt to answer these questions, is Spencer's very own unofficial graphical guide to Port Melbourne...

Cricketers Arms

The Cricketers Arms is a bit of an enigma. For starters it's atypical Melbourne architecture and one of that rare breed of mid-street, rather than corner, pubs. And what a surprising street it's on. Unless you've had cause to travel down the narrow one-way section of sleepy Cruikshank Street, then you very likely don't even know it's there.

Then there's the inside. It's divided in two by the original 1876 central hallway. To the left you have a narrow bar, which is local-filled and a bit intimidating to the newcomer. To the right you have a similarly narrow, yet smart, traditional dining room which The Graham would be proud of. But it is out back that the biggest surprise lurks, a beer 'garden' which, at the full width of the building, is easily the town's biggest (and perhaps best) outdoor drinking space and popular with families.

If ever there were a pub that should be supported, because it's quirky and it hasn't been over renovated and it has to try harder because of its location ... then this is it. Although something about the balance between the wants of the bloke's at the bar, the family's in the garden and the food lover's they hope to entice into the restaurant doesn't quite gel right. Which sadly means that it isn't, yet, the real hidden gem that it could be.

Beers on tap: Cascade Light, Carlton Draught, Pure Blonde, Asahi, Fat Yak
Wine range: $6.50 - $9.50
Parma: $21.50 (but only $12 on Wednesdays!)
Gastro: Not yet
Tradie vs Yuppy: Tradie-as bar, restaurant trying to be up market